I am a wife, mother, sister, aunt, friend, advocate. Up until recently, I thought I was the mom to two daughters. Turns out I was wrong. I have a daughter and a son. My son is in the throes of transitioning to male. We are navigating the journey together and doing our best to spread awareness and ultimately acceptance regarding what it means to be transgender.
My son tells people that I “am obsessed” with all things trans. That’s not exactly true — in fact, not even remotely true. The fact is, however, that I am interested in educating myself and have jumped in feet first so that I can help my son be the best, authentic version of himself.
I love social media. I blog. I run a business. I struggle to stay fit. I like good food. I love my family. I am OBSESSED with my dog. I care about others. I would do anything for my children. I believe in community.
Call Him Hunter 
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Hi Ally Moms !
I have a 12 yrs handsome transgender boy, we are bleesed to have him in our family, and we try the best we can for him to have a normal life, my youngest daughter plays soccer in a kids league, she loves soccer as well as Niklaus ( we legally changed his name) Niklaus of course wants to play soccer in a boys team but we are afraid there will be some issues and the league will not accept him, we live in Auburn Washington, so I was thinking maybe I should just lie about his gender, it’s only a kids league I will always be there in practices and games. Niklaus does not want me to explain the whole situation to every teacher or couch, he has, he just want to be a boy. What should I do??? Thank you so much in advance.
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Hi. Great question. Let me adk the group to respond.
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The American youth soccer association (not sure of exact title) has a transgender policy and requires all legues to allow the transgender child to play on the team with those the same gender as they are. Jazz Jennings’ family won that lawsuit and was helpful in my learning that I was able to fight for my child to play soccer on the right team. I think honesty is best so it doesn’t get made into something worse and you do have precedent on your side.
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I found this for you: http://www.transgenderlaw.org/resources/TLPI_GuidlinesforCreatingPoliciesforTransChildreninRecSports.pdf
From what I gather, reading this, your state already has rules in place to protect transgender children in their schools and activities from discrimination. I would recommend not out right lying, but if your son is your son, then saying that on the application is not a lie. Disclosing anything further should be at your leisure and where you feel comfortable.
Unfortunately, this is all I can personally offer and the situation is unnecessarily tricky. I would suggest picking up the phone and contacting the actual league and ask them how they deal with gender identity. I believe there is a state association for soccer you can also contact.
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tricky one. Title IX prevents discrimination in this type of case. If your child identifies as a boy he plays on the boys team. It is not always easy to go stealth, but many people do. The fact that you will be there makes a huge difference. Going stealth is also tricky because once people do find out there might be issues around the fact that they think you were “hiding something”. If you look up the story about Jazz you may find some answers. This child was born in a male body but new she was female very early on. She started school without telling anyone about being transgender save it for a couple of necessary people. Over time the family and the child revealed the story. She is worth looking up. They founded a great foundation http://www.transkidspurplerainbow.org
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I agree with Janna on this one. My kiddo didn’t begin his transition until age 21 so I have no personal experience. As Janna said Title IX prevents discrimination. Is the league through a YMCA or an independent type league? I would be inclined to ask some questions, maybe anonymously, just to feel out how this might best be approached. I hope one day we get to the point where we just sign our kids up for whatever activity as a kid. What difference does it make. Good luck to you on this. I’m sure there are others in our group who have younger kids who can offer you better suggestions.
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Hi there. I have a 14 yo mtf daughter and she did cheerleading last year for the first time. In my experience, they needed a birth certificate and I also provided them with the legal name change document. We are very “out” so everyone “knew” about Skylar. With that being said, we had no issues whatsoever. I would have fought if they had given us a hard time. As a matter of fact the football league took it upon themselves to let me know she would be welcome to use whatever bathroom she was comfortable with. And we live in Georgia… pretty unexpected but a pleasant surprise. I’m sure other moms have feedback on this subject as well. Good luck!!
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From one of our Ally Moms: A good friend of mine has a trans son who plays lacrosse on a local/community boys’ team and they’ve never disclosed his birth-assigned gender. They don’t consider it lying, because he is a boy. I think the only time it may be a concern is if the locality requires a birth certificate for verification, which some do, otherwise i don’t see why disclosure of the child’s personal medical history is needed.
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My name is Maggie Burbank and I am a producer at “HBO Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel.” I am very interested in producing a piece for our show about young transgender athletes who want to play on their school’s sports teams. If anyone reading this has a story they would be willing to share (off the record for now) I would be so grateful. I am at 347–683–2484. Many thanks in advance! -Maggie
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