Does this make my butt look big? Are my eyes too far apart? Look at the bags under my eyes. Should I get botox? What about liposuction?
I don’t know about you, but there are certainly things I don’t like about my body. We all have our “trouble” spots and thanks to self-help and fashion mags I’ve learned how to mask, camouflage and enhance in just the right way. Jeans, bathing suits and undergarments create flat tummies, hourglass figures and the appearance of smooth, toned hips, butts and thighs.
When someone affirms as the opposite gender, it is not unusual for them to HATE their body. This is not about a little cellulite or age lines. This is about having a body that does not align with the gender they believe to be. Can you IMAGINE thinking and believing that you look a certain way, that you should look a certain way and then you look in the mirror and see a completely different image? CAN YOU IMAGINE that?
Body dysphoria: The incongruity between what the brain expects the body to be versus how the body is actually configured.*
This is different from not liking the way your skin sags as you age.
Sadly, Hunter experiences body dysphoria, some days not so much, some days a lot, but I do think it’s always there.
In an effort to reassure him, I offered, “I know your body is not what you want. I know what you see is not what you want to see. I get it. Try to remember that this is a process. The transition and changes will not happen overnight.”
I hope my words helped him. I cannot ever know what it feels like to be transgender, to want to be someone else, to be Hunter. I cannot ever know what it feels like to really hate what I see when I look in the mirror.