If you are transgender and in a crisis situation, you can call the Transgender Crisis Hotline in the U.S. 877-565-8860 or in Canada 877-330-6366. The Trevor Project is another great place for help in a crisis situation. That number is 866-488-7386.
As I read and gather information, I will post links to articles, books, YouTube videos and more. This is a journey for all of us as we learn about what it means to be transgender. So whether you are reading up for yourself or a loved one, I hope my words provide help and hope.
One of our Ally Moms just put together a book list. Check it out.
There is a story behind this symbol including the transgender flag in pink and blue…I always wondered about the colors. Here’s a link to the story.
One of the key articles of clothing that transitioning FtM people need is a really good binder. In order to appear more masculine, trans* guys want to minimize the appearance of breasts. Binders can be expensive. For those fortunate enough to successfully complete top surgery, the binders are no longer needed. You can donate your binders or get one from In a Bind, a program through the TransActive Gender Center.
Binder Grant for Black Trans Men
Come as you are Co-operative (binder recycling program)
American Psychological Association
Lambda – state guidelines for changing gender on birth certificate
Gender Identity is NOT a Choice
When People As Gender-Intrusive Questions
Gender Spectrum news, resources, education
Available on Amazon
The Transgender Child, by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper
Call Him Hunter 
Hello all I am a 39 year old FTM Transgendered person, My name is Justin and I most definatly prefer male pronouns. I saw your group and simply wanted to say that in this da and age it makes me smile to see such unconditionally loving parents trying their best to help educate and understand their children. If more parents took the time to listen to their kids then we would have much less young lives lost. So please know what you moms are doing here is a very good thing because wether you understand or agree with your child your doing the most important thing….Loving the precious gift the Lord gave to you.
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Justin,
Your note made my morning. Thank you so much. I hope your journey has been fulfilling. Please share the site with others who might need support.
Best,
Roz
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Pingback: Trans*(In)spiration | Call Him Hunter
Hi I am an 18 year old FTM transgender person who is still in high school and living with my parents and I just wanted to say bravo to you for supporting your son and the whole transgender community. I personally wish my parents were as cool as you because my parents think this is a phase for me and they have told me on multiple occasions that they don’t support me I’m this and that they refuse to let me start hormones which really agrivates me by that’s not the point I am trying to make… actually it sorta is a point but not the one I was going for. My point to this is by acknowledging the fact that your son has told you that he is transgender is amazing and that by doing that you have saved your sons life and that heis probably going to be more confident in everything that he does because he knows that you support him; which to me is the best Flippin thing a parent van do for their kid. I know from personal experience that when a kid tells you something this big it Mran they trust you to support them and if you don’t support them they will lose there confidence, they are more likely to become depressed or even suicidal depending on how much support they get from others and they will eventually shut down if they don’t feel like they are supported enough. I know I’m only 18 but within those 18 long years I have gone through hell and back multiple times and have come out victorious everytime, I had to grow up faster than most kids and I know what the lack of support can do to a childs self-esteem. The lack of support in the general population the suicide rate is 1.2% in the transgender community the suicide rate is 41%! I have almost because apart of that statistic sadly to say and it was because I felt so unsupported by my family and people around me that I almost became apart of the statistic. I can express how much you are doing for your son ans anyone else who is in the transgender community thank you from all of us.
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Shawn, your letter is beautiful. I am sad, however, that you aren’t supported in the way you need. Feel free to reach out to any of us ally moms. You can text and put ally moms in the text so they know why an unknown number is reaching out. Also, maybe your mom would be willing to read the callhimhunter blog. It helps other parents to see from another mom’s perspective. Let me know how I can help. It sounds like you are a really strong and smart young man. Keep your chin up and stay as positive as you can. Keep me posted on what you’re up to. ❤️ roz
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Hi -I came across your post and would like to help. I am a producer of a national daytime talk show , The Mel Robbins Show. We are doing a show on non gender conforming children , transgender and kids who are thinking of transitioning who are having difficulty with their parents. Please check out http://www.melrobbinsshow.com. I can be reached at fmiller-stehr@melrobbins.tv . Thank you so much-
Felicia
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Hi my name is katelynn im not a trans but i want to be im 12 years old ive always felt this disconnection with my body for the longest time i never even heard of the word transgender until i looked up some questions i had i havent told my mom or dad anythiing about this how ever i just last night just told3 of my closest friends im scared to tell my mom and dad because i dont think they will like this what if they send me away ? i have a name picked out as i go by online in games such as minecraft csgo and garrysmod is ky when people call me a girl or she I cringe i just wanna say im a boy not a girl but im to afraid starting monday im going to start talking to the school counselor i hope all goes well but i still need help on how to tell my mom and dad can you help?
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Hi Ky,
I am happy to try to help and am glad that you wrote to me. My son is FtM and is almost 17. I have some questions for you. Are you in the U.S.? What makes you think you are transgender? How did your friends react?
If you would prefer emailing me, feel free. It’s rozgkeith@gmail.com.
Also, you can text any of the Ally Moms.
Sometimes parents find it easier to understand when they hear from other parents. This blog is a good resource because they can read our story and see how we handled things. If you are in the U.S. and can tell me what state you live in I can help to find you some resources in your area.
Email or reply here and I will help in whatever way I’m able. And, good for you for reaching out to find some support. I look forward to hearing from you.
Roz
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So I have a question- I can just text one of y’all on the list of ally moms? Like I don’t have to sign up or anything?
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yes. absolutely. just lead with Ally Moms so the person knows what it’s about. Otherwise they won’t recognize the phone number. Take care,
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hello I am 12 year old and thinking I am positive I am transgender and need help I know my dad hate trans I don’t know what to do
p.s. I’m male to female
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Hi. Matt – one of our Ally Moms will respond with some support.
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I am Rachel. I have a FtM/GNC son and am one of the Ally Moms with StandwithTrans.org. I want to help you navigate this, but have a few questions first. Are you in the US? Do you have friends that you can lean on and that you are out to that you can get support from?
If you want to talk here that is fine or you can email me at rachel_painter@yahoo.com. Or you can reach out by text to one of the Ally Moms here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/11Oon3k2rKtoIKpE-OA8okN7RDsTosqrPYj_lO7Eme_k/edit#gid=973378882 I am all the way down on West Virginia.
As for your dad, sometimes parents need help understanding from other parents of trans children.
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Hi I’d like you’d to refere to me as Alice I am a 13 year old transgirl I have not told anyone this except a couple of my school friends and I have been feeling not so great lately about my sexuality and gender identity and I have a few reasons to believe my parents will not love me for me but me for “him” now about these reasons the biggest two are my dad is a die hard republican and my mum independent but still she supports trump quite a fair bit also just today at three I made up a story about a transgender girl in school say what should I call them a boy a girl?My mum said that it’s weird and strange why do they deserve special pronouns just call them what they are?I tried to say they probably feel as if there soul and body were mismatched and she replied with well I was a tomboy growing up but that didn’t mean I needed special pronouns also her parents were diehard Christensen but she raised me to choose my religion that may or may not be of note so.They do say they support the lgbt community but she said it weird to want to be something you were not born as as well as acting like it was worng I want to say I guess just weird and creepy is more what she acted like but I kept thinking to myself so what if I was born this way I never asked to exist and if I got a say I would be born a girl not a “boy” also it feel like by just existing as a “boy” I am lying to them I am not sure if I am one thing that I know is that they both hate any form of modification to the body saying it corrupts the mind and soul?So I ask of you what I should do next oh also I live in one of the 39 states that has the gay/trans panic bill? hope to see your response sincerely Alice.
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Hi Alice, I’m so sorry that I didn’t see this when you wrote. If you still need support, please email Logan@standwithtrans.org for support and resources.
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Good afternoon, my child came out as Non-binary 2 years ago. Now that they turned 18 years of age they want to do top surgery and legally change their name. I’m completely supportive although many in our family are not. I was hoping for assistance and referrals in Santa Barbara. We drove to Pride Clinic today in Santa Paula but were told they need to see primary physician. Dr Becher in Santa Barbara Sansum is fairly new to us and we’ve scheduled an appt for this Friday 7/21/23 but not too sure he’ll be able to help us. Reaching out with hopes you can guide us through this journey. Thank you!
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Hi Maria. We have a great connection to the Pride Center in Santa Barbara. Please contact kristin@pacificpridefoundation.org and let her know that Roz Gould Keith sent you her way. If you need anything further, please email logan@standwithtrans.org.
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Hello,
My name is Desmond and recently I’ve been having a lot of problems and I’ve come across your blog and thought that maybe you could give me some emotional support.
I am in a position without social media and texting and calling so I wouldn’t be able to reach out to ally moms for support. I fear that I may only be able to post on here once so I am going to put everything out at once and I hope it isn’t too much.
I am transgender FtM and I am 15 years old. I turn 16 in less than a month and I have been advocating to be allowed to bind and to start HRT once I turn 16. My legal guardian says that she is fine with me transitioning but won’t provide me with any of the resources I need. She doesn’t call me Desmond and has a really hard time with my pronouns because it’ll “confuse her kids”. I have struggled really badly with my mental health and my gender dysphoria has been so bad to the extent of depersonalization, I don’t even know who Desmond really is. I have been struggling with her for only the past two months while I’ve been internally struggling since I was 12 with a whole different guardian and I don’t know how I’ll be able to deal with this the next two years. I am so scared and I don’t know what to do, she is all I have but I just feel so trapped in myself.
“How will I ever get out of this labyrinth?”
Sincerely,
Desmond
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