Often times I’m disregarded as a person,
or a human altogether.
Often times I’m called “it” when I clearly asked you to call me “he”
and Jaden, not Jillian.
But moving on from that,
what the hell does my gender have to affect you in any way
You act like the fact that I have breasts on my chest,
or my voice not being as low as the other guys,
or maybe I’m only 5’1”,
or your religion may not follow it?
How does that make me any less of a human being?
My gender may not reflect my given sex,
or my body.
You see me every day on the street.
You greet me when I walk in your store,
You give me my transit ticket to get on the other bus.
You gender me correctly.
But once you find out I’m transgender,
It’s almost like walking in the other direction.
Soon enough your pronouns become she again.
You use my birth name,
when I clearly ask you it makes me feel
But really, there are thousands,
probably millions of me out there.
Born in the wrong body,
I wasn’t born in the wrong body.
Like Miles said,
I was born into a world where the perception of my body is wrong.
My birth certificate is wrong.
All the legal records stating I am female is simply
referring to the sex I was assigned at birth.
My birth name,
burning on the papers of every legal document
I’ve signed in my life.
Every time you miss gender me
I die each and every time.
So listen up,
I’ve had enough!
My name is not what it says on paper
but is what I tell you it is.
I am not “lying” about my gender,
my whole body was a lie
before coming out and
starting this whole lifeline process called “transition”.
So go ahead and call me weird.
Call me any derogatory word you can think of.
I’ve been though worse.
Hiding for the first 15 years in this body
that isn’t me.
So go ahead and beat me down.
I will get up and prove to you
I am “man enough” to live in this world
where a transgender person
is just a nothing.
I am a something.
God damn-it, I am me.
I am more than me.
I have been me and now me is shining
that I wish I did when I realized when I wasn’t her.
But I am him,
and I love him so much.
My chosen name is Jaden.
I chose that name because
it reflects me as a person
and who I chose to be.
So no more hiding in this dark closet.
Closets are for clothes.
Not for people with values, or thoughts.
Those need to shine like a rainbow.
I am shining, and I will continue to shine.
Your words will not affect me anymore.
They brought me down enough when i was younger,
and didn’t understand.
But for now, I am just trying to live my life.